10.23.2011

Are Occupy ALL Streets protesters justified? Queen of England facing tough times!

Recent ROYAL REPORTS have brought the Occupy Wall Street and other worldwide protests to the attention of her majesty.  Her highnass's ROYAL HERALDS deny knowledge of the following information provided exclusively to Jack Rabbit at American's Journey blog by insider ROYAL RABBITS for the enlightenment of fellow 99%ers ...

http://romanchristendom.blogspot.com/2011/08/londons-burning-london-riots-reflect.html


Hear Ye Hear Ye!  A Royal News Release!


"The Queen herself prowls the corridors, switching off superfluous lights, a Buckingham Palace employee said.
Royal accounts show the Queen’s electricity and gas bill was £2.2m in 2010-11, or 6.9 per cent of the monarchy’s total income from the government."
Read more HERE

I say!  The poor queen!  She's really really really really really really royally suffering.  How badly?

It's so bad that she's actually using her OWN LEGS to...WALK...to each and every one of the 458,000 lightswitches in her house to turn them off!  Now that's a lot of work!

Rumors have it that the queen may save even more money by having the expensive-to-maintain reptiles removed from the moat around the palace - where she herself will serve as queen monster.  The queen's security is not happy with this idea since while she is asleep the angry hoards of unemployed taxpayers footing the bill may breach the moat.  Such a breach of security would not only necessitate the expenditure of expensive ammunition to suppress the trespass - a minor but not insignificant expense during these hard times - but would present a serious intrusion of her majesty's required ROYAL REST as part of meeting all ROYAL REQUIREMENTS necessary to maintain her superiorness granted her by divine right.

One cost-saving idea under implementation is that Royal Palace Security Guards turn in their expensive MP-5 submachine guns for cheaper AK rifles.
Tests have shown that the AKs do as fine a job keeping the rabble at bay as the MP-5s although the palace will suffer greatly due to "prestige" loss to the cheaper weapons.  The traded-in MP-5 submachine guns will be sold at the Queen's next (foreign-dignitaries-only) Royal Used Weapons Auction and Bake Sale.  This recession inspired event will feature cupcakes the queen BAKED HERSELF with the help of 40 kitchen personnel working a mandatory "volunteer shift." Monies raised from the Royal Used Weapons and Bake Sale will be donated to Royal Charity to Preserve the Queen.

Further Security cost-cutting measures underway include the "Royal Frugal not Fast" disciplinary system.  Reliable insiders who've asked that their names remain anonymous, have informed American's Journey of an idea the queen herself CONCEIVED using her superior divine-right-guaranteed-to-work-better-than-yours ROYAL BRAIN. What is this plan?


"
The Queen’s government has since frozen her income, while average energy bills have risen 20 per cent. Assuming constant fuel consumption, the bill for the palaces would climb to £2.6m this financial year, or 8.2 per cent of the Queen’s income. That suggests that just one further round of energy price rises would push Her Majesty over the 10 per cent threshold and into fuel poverty."   

The inside skinny:  The queen, while prowling the halls for superfluous electricity-wasting lights - noticed a room with the lights on late at night. Alighting from her ROYAL RICKSHAW* and swiftly kicking open the thick iron-oaken chamber door was horrified to find the ROYAL PUNISHER performing a ROYAL FLOGGING of a queen's subject ON OVERTIME! Using her majesty's genetically superiour ROYAL BRAIN the queen quickly hatched a scheme to simultaneously reduce her hall-prowl time, ROYAL RICKSHAW squad food costs, overtime for ROYAL RICKSHAW squad, late night ROYAL FlOGGERY electricity costs and ROYAL PUNISHER overtime costs.


http://www.horrorphile.net/images/the-medieval-rack-torture-device1.jpg




Divinely Inspired Solution:  Subjects caught breaking the queens ROYAL DICTUMS too late in the day for the ROYAL PUNISHER to torture them during regular business hours in the ROYAL FLOGGERY must contribute to the queen's poverty crisis by "volunteering" for solitary confinement in the ROYAL RATCELLAR for that night where naturally no costs will accrue as there is no heat or light allowed here anyway.  This simple and brilliant ROYAL REVERIE will eliminate overtime costs and on-call pay for the ROYAL PUNISHER - who can now deliver the ROYAL FLOGGING, ROYAL RACKARUCK, and ROYAL ROASTINGS punishments at the lowest possible costs.**


Further fuel fritterings threatening the queen's divine ROYAL REQUIREMENTS will be forestalled by another of our highnass's ROYAL REVERIES while providing great benefits to the queen's rabble.  While having a tot contemplating her next ROYAL RETREAT one recent afternoon, her divine majesty's meditation was rudely disturbed by the clamor of lawn mower engines.  Reportedly the queen's ROYAL BRAIN envisioned a plot of perfection to turn this sour sound into sweet silence - saving quite a stash.  


ROYAL GROUNDSKEEPERS will "volunteer" to eschew the use of powered lawn equipment in favor of actually chewing the grass and eating it.  Food costs reduced, fuel saved, noise nulled.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Elizabeth_II_greets_NASA_GSFC_employees,_May_8,_2007_edit.jpg




Well that's all for now - please don't forget that while selfishly protesting the growling sounds in your belly:  That freedom is slavery, war is peace, and poor is rich. 


Oh yeah...one more thing...you may wish to read this:The Large Families that rule the world
Many people have heard of the Bilderberg Group, Illuminati or the Trilateral Commission. But what are the names of the families who run the world and have control of states and international organizations like the UN, NATO or the IMF?

To try to answer this question, we can start with the easiest: inventory, the world's largest banks, and see who the shareholders are and who make the decisions."

Just remember:  They are suffering just like the other 99% - really!

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*ROYAL RICKSHAW...the queen found that a rickshaw was actually a less-expensive method of transportation than ACTUAL ROYAL AMBULATION - since the expense of the soles of the queens ROYAL SLIPPERS, crafted of ultra-rare baby-seal tongue, cost the queen 110 pounds per footstep.  Rickshaw costs including shoes for subjects prove far below these costs.



**royal hangings will be handled traditionally regardless of expense out of the queens respect for the dignity of the condemned subjects.







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